Hello Everyone:
First off, wishing all a Happy St. Paddy’s Day. Which I guess isn’t much of a holiday than an excuse to drink green beer! But it also means that we are in the middle of March and that Spring will be here soon. It is a sunny day in Toronto. A little chilly but the ravine off my balcony is getting greener and less bare. Spring is a time that always brings me a new sense of hope for the rest of the year. (That, and hope that my golf swing will be great for the coming season!! – HAHA).
I finally received my ordered compression arm sleeve and gauntlet just over two weeks ago and been wearing it everyday, all day. It took over 10 days to get them – and I had called the place after a week to follow up. They said they had ordered it from the U.S. and shipping can take awhile. I thought to myself…….FedEx!! They ship everywhere and can help small businesses……at least that’s what their commercials are all about. Oh well. Everything arrived and I took it to my session with my OT the same day. We thought that the sleeve and gauntlet were a little loose and not the best fit. So I called up the store and spoke to the fitter who said that was the smallest size and I could order something custom, but would cost a lot more money and she didn’t think it was not too necessary since my lymphedema ‘wasn’t too bad’. Obviously she doesn’t know me. I think that the worse thing someone could say is “it’s not too bad”. Sure, my afffected arm is not huge or disfigured or deformed as in severe cases of lymphedema, but, I NOTICE. And to me, that’s what is important. It’s how I feel about it. I just want something that fits properly and helps control the swelling. I know she meant well but I wasn’t too happy about it. My OT said to try things out for the next couple of weeks and we’d go from there.
This past Wednesday the 13th, I dropped by the garment store and was lucky enough to run into the owner who has a lot of experience fitting patients. The sleeve I had been wearing for the past 2 weeks was so loose and out of shape that I don’t think was helping much. She fit me into another fabric/brand of the same compression. It fit a lot better. She didn’t have one in beige. It has to be ordered. This one was black – and although I wanted beige, I didn’t want to wait, so I took the black in order to start wearing it right away. All I know is black is definitely a ‘slimming’ colour……..that, or this sleeve is helping!!
I have to admit that this onset/diagnosis of Lymphedema had put me in a bad mood. (For a little bit). Quite frankly, I am tired of all this. I’VE HAD IT!! I know that I am past and over the worse parts of my cancer situation, but this really is a pain and annoying. I know it will pass and it will be manageable, but honestly………Really?! I kind of felt mad about it for awhile but I’m over it. I know I have to shrug it off and go on as I usually do. Besides, I can’t change it so I kick myself to accept it and move on.
So, what have I done? I took up skiing. I haven’t been curling anymore and with skiing you don’t really need to use your arms in a strenuous way. And now, I am hooked!! I signed up for lessons and 7 weeks into it, my instructor told me I was a different skier since we started. I have graduated from being a ‘bunny’ to a ‘fox’. Moving from ‘Robot Go’ to someone who at least looks like they can ski a bit. He said it was amazing to watch my progression. I then told him it was thanks to my somewhat “A-type” personality that makes me so determined. Being out in the fresh air (sometimes downright chilly) was really helpful and peaceful to my frame of mind. So peaceful. It was quite therapeutic. Plus, I fell a few times so the pains from the bruises I sustained kept my mind focused on things other than my swollen arm. I’m fully equipped now with boots, skis, helmet, gloves and a great off-white outfit (I guess that’s what really matters – my instructor accused me of being a ‘slave to fashion’) so next season I’ll be ready to hit the slopes with my warriors who are skiiers. I love it. LOL!
One of my Warriors is going through chemo treatments right now for the same situation. I went with her this past Thursday to her appointment with her oncologist (which happened to be my oncologist as well) and chemo treatment. I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel being the supporter rather than the one being supported. Her treatment was being done in another hospital (for which I was thankful for – otherwise, it may have been too close to home for me). She was in a bed (due to the treatments she was getting) and I told her I was a little jealous that I never got a bed, always in a chair! At least I got a good laugh with her about it. I was glad that I went. We have to do what we can for each other no matter what. At times I did feel a couple of pangs inside. I helped with the ice packs on her hands and feet. I helped her sip her juice. The same things that some of you did for me who came with me to my treatments. All I can say is that you can really see how difficult it can be for those around you who care so much to see you in that situation. A totally different perspective for me and I am so appreciative of my Warriors who helped me through my treatments. It can’t be easy to watch. THANK YOU!! I think we had a good time though. We chatted and laughed a lot. Aside from us making noise, it was pretty quiet in this chemo daycare too. I also realize more and more as I meet and chat with others who have been afflicted by this disease how lucky I was. To not have suffered through many of the side affects like, mouth sores, rashes, and constipation for example. Bone pain and aches I had quite a bit, but that was the worst of it. So, to my fellow afflicted Warrior: I am so proud of you and how you are handling things.
Can’t wait for spring to arrive in full bloom. New hope. New beginnings. And who knows, although I am enjoying my own company……..maybe I’ll come out of my shell and go on a date soon! LOL.
Love Always,
Winnie xo