Hello Everyone:
It’s the holiday season and every now and then we wish for a miracle. After all, it is Christmas. Well, I got one. As you know, I haven’t seen or spoken with my Mother since September 25, 2017. And, finally after 14 months – it happened. Thanks to a lot of work by my siblings. We all got together for my brother’s birthday in November. My Mother actually told my brother he could invite whomever he wanted, and that included his sisters. We were prepared for the worse. But we banded together and had dinner out. I was ignored by her for the entire dinner. At least there was no outbreaks or meanness. We didn’t know what to expect. Then, at the end of the night, I approached her with a little trepidation but decided to go for it and gave her a big hug. She accepted and hugged me back. WOW – – it was really nice. She said when she was getting into the car (and I gave her another hug and told her I loved her), we could go for dinner again. I said, “hot pot?” To which she replied, “Yes – since you haven’t had anyone to go with”. I answered, “Yes – you are correct”. Another WOW. The mind is complicated to say the least.
The rest of the week passed with no strange phone calls or voice messages. Phew.
Then, I called her to invite her to the Family Holiday Brunch at The National Club. No one answered. Then, 20 minutes later my phone rang and the caller ID showed my Mother’s number. My heart literally skipped a beat. I answered, a little timid “Hello?” – And it was my Mother saying “Did you call me?” I said “Yes I did”. We had a good conversation about a few things. She did most of the talking – and at the end, it was agreed my sister would pick her up and bring her downtown to the brunch. Progress!
We had a lovely time at the brunch. She remembered being at the Club and also knew it had been a long time since she had been there. She wrote me a lovely card in chinese. Translated “To my dearest daughter, Winnie – wishing you good health and a wonderful life and most of all her hope that I have a good man to love me”. (I said, there are a few men who love me…..just not the right ones! LOL – – we all had a laugh). She signed off, “Mommy dearest and I love you!”. We both kissed the card and dated it. It was SO SPECIAL. She was my Mother again. I still get teary when I think of it and look at the card which I will treasure. We even took photos together and she asked me to send them to her. (Apparently there are no photos of me in her house anymore). When she called that same night and asked me if we were going to the Club for brunch the next day – all I could do was take a deep breath and say that the next day was Monday and I had to go to work and we’d go another time. That, almost made me cry. It’s so sad.
I think she looks better now than she did last year. And happier. I’m am so thrilled. We have seen each other, always with other family or friends around, a few times now. Baby steps. And she seems to remember me as the good daughter I had been. A relief. But she also knows it has been awhile since we have done things or gone places. It’s hard to watch her struggle with her short term memory or confusion about where she is or what she had done earlier in the day. To know that it is forgotten so quickly – is tough and it breaks my heart. But I am grateful and thankful for this chance to be there and love her again. I even got to spend my dear Hana’s birthday with her again. So happy for all of this. Thank you everyone for all your support and efforts. It has meant so much.
So – now – – she calls. Sometimes early in the morning, sometimes late at night. Sometimes she leaves me messages. But in the end, it is all very sweet and loving. Who knows if it will change again. All I can do is embrace THE MOMENTS with her and always tell her that I love her before we part. And give her a big hug.
Merry Christmas. Buon Natale. Felice Navidad. Joyeux Noel. 聖誕節快樂. (Shengdan Jie Kuai Le).
Lots more to share that happened after my last post – but that can wait. Off to bed in my annual new “Christmas PJs” courtesy of my Oakville Warriors.
Wishing all love, success, great health and more miracles in 2019.
HUGS and LOVE!
Winnie, The Warrior xo