Hello Everyone:

It was 13 years ago tonight that the club of Winnie’s Warriors was created and it has been a journey. Full of laughs, tears, good times & bad, scares, upset, giggles and all kinds of adventures.

So for this post – – I just want to say, THANK YOU to all of you. I am full of gratitude of all the love and care. Your friendships mean the world to me. And as I reflect on my life to this point, all I can add is that even on the days when I am stressed, I stop, take a breath and know how very blessed I am.

With enormous affection,

Winnie, the Warrior. XOXO

Hello Everyone:

Happy Autumn/Fall. It has been quite the spring and summer. From my last ‘interrupted’ update – it is with a very heavy heart, that I write to say I lost my mother on Saturday, April 22, 2023 at 1:08 am. She was 73. Only 3 weeks after my last post.

Needless to say, while I have had the title of this post always in my head since then, I have not been able to find the will to actually write about it. It has been a roller coaster of emotions as many of you know. To lose a parent, no matter what the circumstances is devastating. The waves of griefs that come and go, mixed in with some laughter and tears, good & bad memories are constant. I said to my brother that I don’t think it gets better, even with time, however we just learn to live with it differently as we continue on.

While I had ‘lost’ a large part of my mother due to her Alzheimer’s in the past number of years and the disease caused a lot of complications in our relationship, finally losing her was crushing as our last weeks together had moments of tenderness, love, understanding and interaction that I had not had with her in a long time. All which has made things that much harder. Her last words to me were “Thank you” in chinese. That was less than 12 hours before she passed. In her last weeks, she barely spoke. I was the first there and hugged & held her hand until I was joined by my siblings and her faithful husband, Robert.

I know my Mommie bear is always around me and I carry a piece of her with me always. She was a true Warrior and had a huge impact on the woman I am today. Forever grateful. Missing her always and terribly.

I share with you a link, in loving memory.

https://www.arbormemorial.ca/preview/highland-scarborough/%E6%9D%8E%E8%98%AD%E9%A6%A8%E5%A5%B3%E5%A3%AB-mrs-linda-lee-go/102737

Much love to you all. Winnie, the Warrior. XOXO

Hello Everyone:

Where has the time gone? Since I last wrote, we have started a new calendar year and welcomed the Year of the Rabbit. It has been a strange and busy time. A whirlwind in fact. I had so many intentions to put a few words down but time has gotten away from me.

So I interrupt the regular Warriors update for this breaking news flash: On December 13, 2022 we had to call the ambulance to take my mother to emergency. She lost her ability to walk and get out of bed on her own. After spending 73 days in hospital and a transition centre – notwithstanding lots of drama, tears, looking for a long term bed, and dealing with multiple social workers and care co-ordinations, a MIRACLE happened. We were offered a private room at Mon Sheong in Scarborough. A place where the waiting list is 5-7 years long. I had it placed it as my number one choice when our LTC application was accepted (after almost a year of working through bureaucracy). Our prayers were answered. While there was relief, there was also the utter sadness and an underlying sense of guilt knowing this will be my mother’s new home and she would not return to her own condo. I signed the admittance documents with a heavy heart. As I write this, I sit bedside at the hospital. We had to bring her in again today. She had a low grade fever, lethargic, sleeping constantly and unresponsive to the nursing home staff. Thankfully, the fever has passed and we are awaiting test results. Just spoke to one of the doctors. May not be a fever after all. It might be something else related to her drugs. He thinks a mini-breakthrough. Waiting now to speak to the internal medicine doctor. Sadly due to Covid, my mother hasn’t really had consistent medical care. Stay tuned!
My mother has not walked on her own for nearly 4 months. While she is no longer combative (they had treated her back in December for an UTI (who knows how long she had it), she has become more distant and non-verbal. I sing to her and we hold hands. Sometimes she looks at me and smiles. Sometimes a tear drops from the corner of her eye. Simply heartbreaking. I am heart-broken.

Her dementia – Alzheimer’s and vascular has robbed her of her dignity and independence. The deterioration can be staggering and happen faster than one can imagine. All I can do is be there for her and be the wind beneath her wings.

It is not what we have, but who we have in our life that matters. Thank you for being in mine!!

With love and affection,

Winnie, the Warrior xoxo

Hello Everyone:

Hope everyone has had a good Spring and Summer. Hard to believe that we are going into the fall next week. Wow. It is true that time seems to go by faster as we get older. Life becomes more precious each and every day.

It has been a busy spring and summer. In addition to golf, I have taken up sailing – I am a water baby after all – however do not like going into the water. Lake Ontario is pretty gross and cold. 🥶😂. It is pretty peaceful though. I did a women’s sailing program and met some interesting gals. There were some calm nights where there was little wind – so it was more paddling than sailing. Good for the arms! Little boats have no engines. 🤷🏻‍♀️

With life getting back to more normal times, I was able to go to NYC and saw a couple of cousins and dear friends. I went to Italy for a wedding of one of my extended family – where I am affectionately referred to as the “work aunt”. It used to be “work mom” but I felt that made me older. LOL. Nothing like a change of scenery and being in 40 degree heat. It was so hot and humid that once when I went to the bathroom – I had to wait before I could put my gown back on. 🤦🏻‍♀️ . On the way home I stopped into my favourite place – the City of Lights – to celebrate a girlfriend’s milestone birthday. Paris – I still love it. C’etait absolument fantastique.

I recently participated in my annual charity run and raised funds again for the Alzheimer Society of Toronto. I was the #2 individual fundraiser in the event. Raising over $18K! I made the 5 km trek in my best time. Needless to say I went for a massage the next day and asked the therapist to work on my legs and gluts. 😂.
I know there is no hope when one is felled with Alzheimer’s. So if this can help other families cope and get support through programs and counselling, it helps me when I feel sad that I will never have a “mother-daughter heart to heart” again. It is really a cruel and degassing disease for families.

Next year, it will be 10 years since I was the speaker for the Run for the Cure and hope that to bring back my Winnie’s Warriors team for the occasion and raise funds for the Canadian Cancer Foundation. (Breast, Prostate groups have all rolled into the main foundation now). I also want to honour a dear Warrior who lost her fight to Cancer earlier this year. She was a cancer survivor of 20 years and faced a recurrence and while she fought bravely and courageously for her 8 year old son, she didn’t make it. I spent time with her, chatted, consulted, and we also rang the bell together after her last chemo. This experience with her shook me to the core. I am not sure I have totally recovered from it. I still can’t talk about it too much.

On my milestone, last September 1st – celebrating 10 years cancer-free, I finally allowed myself to be called a cancer “survivor”. With the recent passing of Olivia Newton John, I think I will go with what she preferred – being called – a cancer “thriver”. She said, “Survivor sounds like someone clinging onto a lifeboat. A thriver’s someone who’s already off the boat and on land.”

Monday, September 19th is the funeral of Queen Elizabeth II. A truly remarkable woman who remained steadfast in her beliefs and duties. I was told she had made it possible for her great granddaughter Charlotte to be an heir to the throne now. Something that wasn’t available to her own daughter Ann. Amazing.

Cheers to you all. May we continue to cross paths, seek the best in ourselves, experience great adventures ahead and inspire & touch lives.

Hugs and love, Winnie, the Warrior. XOXO

Hello Everyone:

It has been a while. What a start to 2022. In Ontario we were imposed by further lockdowns due to the Covid Omicron variant. Finally most restrictions have been lifted except for mandatory wearing of masks on public transport, and in Canada, you need to be vaccinated to get on commercial flights and trains. Masks are optional and in some cases, events are requiring patrons to be fully vaccinated. But that is not the norm anymore. I feel that we will learn to live and adapt with Covid. It is here to stay. And then, the sad and tragic conflict in Ukraine – scary to think of the worst case outcome. Praying for the best outcome possible.

This Chinese new year was the start of the year of the Tiger. The Tiger year is supposed to bring new starts and lots of adventure. One can only hope after what we have all been going through since early 2020.
I have continued to keep occupied with work, friendships, family, skiing and even a little travel. I started my 2022 going to Lake Louise in Alberta, Canada for a 4 day ski trip. It had been almost 2 years since I skied last. It was very cold. With temperatures with the wind around -25 to -35 degrees Celsius! Brrr!🥶 I skied locally in Collingwood, Ontario most weekends and just recently returned from Kitzbuhel, Austria as I started back on my European ski adventures. In total 29 days of skiing. The most ever. It has kept me in shape over the winter. As I may have written before, one could come out of Covid as a hunk, chunk or skunk. 🤯. Trying hard to avoid the latter two options!
I spent 2 days in Munich on the way back and was lucky enough to try a one star Michelin restaurant and enjoy some wonderful French inspired cuisine. In Munich they were still required to show vaccination passports and wear masks – the serious N95 type were mandatory.

I continue my annual tradition during Lent to give up something that I enjoy a lot. I stop eating meat. I do this first and foremost to honour the memory of my late dear AMA, and second for discipline. As many of you know I am a carnivore! Being in Austria and Germany was tough. A lot of the things on the menu were meat based! I did have to break fast once at one of the lunch spots that I stopped at on the piste while skiing. It only served two items of food. Sausage or goulash. I chose the goulash. Lent started this year on March 2 and will end on April 17. Happy Easter! 🐣

I try to stay active and healthy. Both physically and mentally. I see my osteopath once a month and my naturopath twice a year. Any ailment, I am the first one to book an appointment with my physician. 11 years later, I redid some genetic testing. They used to test for 2 disorders. Now there are 19. Advancement of technology! I had one inconclusive test (BRCA-2). Which remains the same. Clear on the others. Phew. So apparently I have a 16% chance of recurrence. Which they said is the norm. Still seems high to me. Reminds me of the need to stay vigilant. I have been using the program Duolingo to learn different languages, or at least try to, in order to keep my mind active. I am terrified of early onset of Alzheimer’s. Seeing what my mother has been going through, it hasn’t been easy. For anyone. As one of my clients said, who had met my mother on a couple of occasions while I hosted events, “if your mother knew what she has become today, she would be mortified”. I would agree. This is not how she would want to be remembered. There are times now where she is confused who we are. It is heartbreaking and sad. 😔😢

On a happier note, spring is around the corner. Technically we are in the spring season, however we’ve still had some wintery days. I truly believe that the spring brings hope. New growth. Fresh blooms and foliage. And, of course – Golf! 😄

To quote a dear Warrior, “Gratitude is my new Attitude”. That is going to be my mantra this year.

Love and hugs. Keep well, happy, healthy and safe.
Winnie, the Warrior XOXO

Hello Everyone:

I hope that all are keeping safe and healthy during these continued uncertain times in the world with Covid and its variants. Another holiday season disrupted.

In spite of things – I have always tried to continue to be positive and live life as ‘normal’ as possible. Trying new things, sticking with the tried and true activities I love and of course, keeping in touch with friends and family as we navigate this difficult and different times.

So I golfed, tried out sailing, got out with foodie friends, had family dinners, attended hockey games and now looking forward to the ski season again (last time I skied was March 2020!). And still managed to do my annual charity run and raised over $10K for Alzheimer’s. :0

I was fortunate enough to go to Cleveland in September to remember my dear Sugar Bear who passed earlier this year and see my Ellicottville ski family after almost 2 year who gathered for the celebration of his life. It was strange to travel but well worth it. Reminder that we need to carry on as much as we can while staying diligent. It will be nice to be free of masks and hand sanitizer! Although I suspect we are not out of the woods yet – but hopefully soon! I have boostered up.

As we wind down another year, I look forward to 2022 and more 3D visits and ventures abroad. I feel that it has been another year of roller coaster rides. Lots of highs and a few bumps. I find myself holding my breath each time I see my Mother – whose mind is being ravaged by Alzheimer’s. I wonder when I will have that “Notebook” moment again with her. Her husband is a beacon of strength, patience and wonder. We celebrated a safe and distanced birthday with my Father who turned 82 years young on Boxing Day. He even gave me a taste of a rare scotch! LOL. We decided on a virtual Christmas dinner this year due to Omicron. Coming off tamoxifen has been rough. 10 years on a daily drug and then stopping cold turkey has had its adjustments. Lots of bone, body aches and pains & a rush of hormones. Sadly, my hair hasn’t taken shape. I let it grow out for 3 months. We recently cut it all off again……*Sigh……However, overall I am happy. Always blessed surrounded by family, dear friends and even managed to make a few new ones again this year.

Here’s to Laughing Often and Much, To Appreciating Beauty, To Finding the Best in Others and To Knowing that even One Life has Breathed Easier because You Have Lived. Cheers to us all!! Happy Merry and best in 2022!

Much Love and Gratitude for your care and friendship. Winnie, the Warrior. XOXO

Hello Everyone:

I feel that I can finally say it………..I AM A CANCER SURVIVOR. 🙂

10 years ago, on September 1, 2011, I had the last of my 25 radiation treatments and thus completed my year long bout with that terrible disease called Cancer. From the lump – to diagnosis – to 6 aggressive chemo sessions – 2 surgeries and countless painful and sleepless nights. I have survived to mark this milestone. 10 YEARS – CANCER FREE!! (And how appropriate – that #82 – when you add those numbers together equals 10!) LOL.

I thought I had read somewhere that to get to 10 years was a big deal. There are many recurrences I have heard and been told about that happen between the 5-10 year timeframe. Recently, there have been two people I know who have been told that they have cancer….again. Sadly when announced, in stage 4 and not looking great. One fights on, the other, has passed. It is an important reminder that we need to always stay vigilant and still, a little paranoid. We cannot take anything for granted.

While we are still going through the pandemic, I did manage to have a get together to celebrate this special milestone. Not as grandiose as I had originally imagined last year when I had proposed having a celebration, but it was wonderful nonetheless.

I hosted a small gala at The National Club – where we could be safe. 35 in a room that can hold 150+. Even had a dance floor and DJ. Who knew you could still do that during Covid?! And of course, a new ball gown – for my “coming out from kicking cancer” party! 😉

With heartfelt gratitude to everyone who have been with me then, now and going forward – I am looking forward to the next 10 years and beyond.

Hugs and LOVE! Winnie, the Warrior. XOXO

Hello Everyone:

Happy Summer and I know it has been quite some time since I have written. This year, in spite of the ongoing pandemic, seems to be going by fast. Hard to believe we are in August already.

After all the lockdowns and restrictive measures we have been “enjoying” in Ontario, (and Canada for that matter), we finally are on the road to more “normal” living – – with many in the Province and Country fully vaccinated. We are lucky that we do not have a large population and Canadians generally are quite compliant. Hence – when they closed down golf courses back in April, we went along. In fact, Toronto had been in lock-down the second time around since November 2020

I have managed to continue to keep busy with work, and outdoor & indoor outings (especially with many of my closest friends fully vaccinated). Needless to say, my calendar seems to be as full as ever. How is THAT possible?! I have to say that it is because I have so many amazing people around me and we have kept up supporting each other through the thick and thin.

I can’t remember when I have golfed, walked & hiked, cooked, and most importantly, LAUGHED so much. In the last couple of years, I feel that I have truly found myself, and appreciate so much of what I have been given and know the path of what I want for myself.

I lost a dear friend in an motor vehicle accident in March. He was and will be fondly remembered as my Sugar Bear. We skied together in Ellicottville, went boating in Chautauqua and painted the town in New York City. Puts things into perspective. Life is short and we have to embrace and live it. I go through intermittent crying but I know that my tears are part of my healing process. Not just from this devastating loss, but for any recovery of the soul. The tears have to be allowed to flow. My Sugar Bear lived life to the fullest no matter what roadblocks were put in his way. That was his mantra to the very end.

For my birthday this year I was lucky enough to get together – with some dear friends – socially distanced on the roof top patio of The National Club. It was an epic night. I don’t think I ever stopped laughing.

Finally – on July 31, 2021, after much deliberation I decided to stop taking tamoxifen. It has been 10 years. While I will be seeing my after-cancer clinic doctor later this month – and may have had the option to take it a little longer, or even offer to be part of perhaps a new study to see if continuing to take tamoxifen could stave of recurrence further – I took my last pill. To be transparent, I have thought about it a lot and talked to my various health care professionals. It is a scary thought sometimes. To give up a ‘crutch’ that in my mind has been keeping a recurrence of cancer at bay. I don’t even know how I will feel without it. So I guess we’ll see. I always said one of the side effects was weight gain. While I have always had a pretty healthy appetite and metabolism – I have joked that maybe I can eat even more now!! LOL. That, and maybe that my hair will finally grow in nicely again. I had gone a while without a haircut – due to the pandemic – but thankfully, Brian fit me in last minute.

It continues to be a little cuckoo bananas at times – but we solider on. There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won’t anymore and who always will (Necole Stephens). I am so blessed that you all ALWAYS WILL.

Hoping that all our paths will cross in the very near future. New beginnings, changes, and great adventures for us all.

Love and Hugs, Winnie, The Warrior. XOXO

Hello Everyone! Happy Family Day here in Ontario – A long weekend that also included Valentine’s Day (which I call SAD – Single Awareness Day) and the start of the new lunar year on February 12th. The Year of the White Metal Ox. I am an OX.

CUCKOO BANANAS – it has become my favourite word to describe the year that was 2020 and how I think many of us may be feeling every now and then. Being aware and managing stress during these times of chaos and uncertainty has not been easy. We were all looking forward to 2021 – and for now, it is much of the same as 2020 since Covid-19 put ‘normal’ in the corner. Here’s hoping that the OX will bulldoze this away soon!

I have taken up to trying new things – horse back riding; Outdoors & Shop girl (wood-splitting & wood-working) – I became the sanding department and helped to make a tray, charcuterie board and assisted in refurbishing an old 1940s standard budget desk that is now in my condo; Launched a virtual Variety type show for the National Club – where I have been a Mixologist (I make an excellent martini), Quasi-Baker – making a soufflé; Oyster Shucker (well more observer) and Pizza maker (the old fashioned way – just hands, no rolling pin). All for laughs (“SNG”), to entertain and be entertained. It has helped to pass the time. Also – getting out for walks, hikes and yoga. There has been no skiing – we’ve been shut down here. I did take my niece skating last Friday…..it was -20 degrees Celsius. At least it was sunny. And I have been doing French lessons on Duolingo for 338 days now. (I realize how poor my grammar has been. Yikes).

Friendship is only a word until someone special gives it meaning. And you are all special to me. Relationships are what will get you through anything. And during these very challenging days – I am thankful for all the relationships I have in my life. I have had the chance to solidify and strengthen bonds in the last year as we support each other. I have also made new friends through the pandemic. I am so lucky to be able to surround myself with good souls to keep me sane so I don’t go completely cuckoo!

Keep well and stay safe. Miss you all. LOVE & HUGS ALWAYS!

Winnie, the Warrior XOXO

Hello Everyone:

It’s November 1st. All Saints Day. The moon is full and bright after we just had a blue full moon yesterday. 10 years ago tonight, the club of Winnie’s Warriors was born. An evening that represented the start of a journey that has been full of emotion, roller coaster tears, laughter, healing and love. It was the night that I took control of what I could and shaved my hair, donated to kids with cancer just prior to starting my chemo treatments. Thanks to my Dad, who had photos of that night that I can now share. Not sure if I was ready before. Haunting and weird night.

I have marked this day over the years, with family, friends, and on top of the Arc de Triumph. This year I had wanted to have a gathering with my Warriors, but with Covid-19 it was not meant to be. So we’ll have to wait until September 1st, 2021 – the day of my last radiation treatment. 🙂 It’s going to be a big party – – a full 10 years. Please….save the date.

So instead, I had my eyebrows tattooed. I finally woke up from looking in the mirror being Casper the Friendly Ghost to Angry Birds. (The red one). Things are healing and it is in progress – they are more normal looking at week later – but you’ll see the initial photo of the day of. Quite something. Not sure what took me so long – but I’ll be happy for the next while not having to draw them in everyday. :O

I watched my speech that I gave at the Run for the Cure back on October 5, 2014 on You Tube. It’s still there. I had talked about how I thought my hair had defined me and was a big part of who I thought I was. I know that it definitely is not the case. That said, I am secretly hoping that after I am done taking Tamoxifen next year that I might have one last kick at growing my locks again. Well, maybe.

I had quoted Audrey Hepburn at the end of my speech and I wanted to share my favourite line – “For POISE, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone”. (I just about teared up when I said it…). Tonight, 10 years later, I think back and am so humbled. Grateful for my life, my journey and especially for all of you. Because I know that I will never walk alone…..ever.

All my love and gratitude, Winnie….The Warrior. XOXO. P.S. “Live Long and Prosper” 🙂