Hello Everyone:

It’s November 1st again. All Saints Day. Year 3 since the creation and beginning of the club of Winnie’s Warriors. I thank you all for being there for me and for all your support and love during the past 3 years. It’s hard for me to explain and express my gratitude. But I hope you all know how dear and special you are.

At first tonight I was going to go to Centro – now called Vita Sociale – to have a quiet dinner on my own and reflect. After all, this was the place that I shaved my hair off and accepted my fate. However, due to delays on the subway and the flocks of people, I decided to go home. Thinking about things past on the subway, I was almost overwhelmed. That said, I am quite excited to write this update to share this special day with all of you.

As you know, I was in Paris last year, on top of the Arc de Triomphe. To feel close to my favourite city, I went out and made myself some “magret de canard” (duck breast) and seared fois gras. I paired with some Lillet that Chris and Jim introduced me to. And for dessert, a little 1968 calvados and some French Blue and Comte cheeses.  Tres delicieux!

Now for a little update: I went to my annual consultation with my oncologist at Princess Margaret Hospital. I was told that now that it has been 2 years since the end of treatments, that I was going to be discharged to a new After Cancer Treatment Transition Clinic at Women’s College Hospital. I think this is an interesting proposition as this clinic is designed to provide post cancer treatment to those that have already been treated for cancer and will have more time devoted to wellness issues such as diet, exercise, bone health and coping than the usual oncology clinic. I am still receiving hormone therapy – the Tamoxifen. I have been taking it for 2 years. Initially the plan was to take it for 5 years. My oncologist told me that they are considering recommending you take it for 10 years. I will be cared for by a General Practitioner specializing in Oncology and a Specialized Oncology Advanced Practice Nurse who have worked in the breast clinics at PMH. They will review my situation and develop an individualized follow up plan. And, apparently, I’ll get a complete assessment including a physical exam. I think it is good because I always see my oncologist and I sit in the gown and we talk and I don’t really feel that anything is being done when I am there. Actually, their job is done – the chemo and radiation treatments are designed to help reduce the chance of recurrence and that’s it. He told me that 5% of recurrence is found through follow up appointments and mammograms etc…otherwise, you basically find it on your own and by that time, it’s really too late. Kind of scary. I don’t like to dwell or think about it much. So love and live life!!

I wanted to add an addendum to my last update about Winnie’s Warriors on the Run for the Cure. As one of my Warriors was crossing the finish line, the supporters asked her who she was running for…..and then they all yelled out “Winnie’s Warriors”! I still get goosebumps when I tell the story. Good thing I wasn’t there at the time….I’d have probably started crying.

My hair. Still short. I’ve started to wear my wigs again from time to time. I actually quite enjoy it. Sometimes I wear two or three different styles in one week. I have resigned myself to wearing wigs for a long time. I don’t mind so much. Actually sometimes it can be amusing. Sometimes people don’t recognize me right away. Sometimes people say, ‘oh, you’ve let your hair down’. LOL. Someone told me I was brave for wearing them on and off. I’m channelling the retro 60s. The times when wearing wigs were fashionable! That said, as I was on my way home tonight on the subway I couldn’t help but notice all the hair….long, wavy, curly, up-dos, and pony tails (I really miss being able to do that). Le sigh.  Yes, I have hair envy every now and then.

So as I close out my evening and reminisce a little more about what has transpired, I’m watching P.S. I Love You. It’s a sappy feel good love story. Just what every gal needs to watch every now and then. 🙂

Then a nice long bath with lavender and eucalyptus oils and off for a good sleep.

I love you all…..to the end. (Sappy no? They just said it in the movie……LOL!)

Good night!

Winnie xo

Hello Everyone:

Hope all is well. I’m excited to write this latest update. As many of you know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. The “pink” is everywhere! It’s big business. I mean, even the NFL pro football players are wearing pink.

I was approached by the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation to see if I would participate in their first radio-thon reaching out to the Chinese community. It was going to be in mandarin, and my mandarin is very basic, but I agreed. The goal was to create awareness for PMH and canvass for donations. The radio hosts were very patient with me and my message was simply this: Princess Margaret Hospital gives one Hope. When it was confirmed that I had cancer, one of the things I found comfort in was the fact that I live in Toronto with one of the best cancer hospitals in the world. And because of generous donations, that has allowed for research, I had a fighting chance. That’s hope. Seems small but it was a big deal to me at the time. The radio-thon raised over $60,000.

Team Winnie‘s Warriors went running on Sunday, October 6th for the CIBC Run for the Cure which is the largest single day event raising funds and awareness for breast cancer across Canada. I am proud to say that WW’s raised over $10K!! My team of 18 did the 5K run in style! As I was preparing to head downtown to meet my team members, (getting shirts, hats, bibs, pens and ribbons etc…), I got on the subway only to realize that I had forgotten something essential and important…..Horror of horrors…..I had forgotten my lipstick!! LOL. Luckily for me, one of my Warriors let me borrow a dab of gloss. 🙂

The rain held off. The energy and excitement could be felt everywhere. And I wrote “Winnie‘s Warriors!” again on the Wall of Hope as I did back in 2011. I had more fun this year – less overwhelming feeling – and look forward to doing it again next year. The first year we were 8. This year 18. Next year 25??

And yes, I did run. At least non-stop for the first 2 kms. Then I had a pain in my previously injured knee that I couldn’t ignore so I did the run, walk, run routine. Then realized I had forgotten something even more important…..Advil!! And for the record, my running shoes were 2 years old….although I was asked by a few people whether they were brand new! What can I say? I keep my shoes clean! After the run,  they were really muddy – the field was very mushy and messy from the rain, so I took the advice of one of my warriors: brushed them and put them in the washing machine. 🙂

It was a special day and it’s a special month.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone (it was Turkey day here in Canada on Monday). I have much to be Thankful for – especially thankful for having all of you in my life.

Gobble Gobble!!
Winnie xoxo

Hello Everyone:

It’s the Friday of the Labour Day long weekend. It was this weekend three years ago that I found ‘the lump’. Hard to image and believe that so much time has passed and to comprehend all that has happened since that weekend. Talk about a game changer! Literally since I played my best golf game at Thundering Waters that day. It’s been an uphill battle since then. Thankfully, I am feeling much better and more like myself and at least my golf short game has returned…..kind of. LOL!!

I went to see my OT at the lymphedema clinic earlier this week for my one month check up after my 10 rounds of treatment with her. At my last appointment in July, we did some measuring and my forearm edema was down from the initial 9% down to 1%. She was quite pleased with my progress. She allowed me some ‘relief’ from wearing my compression sleeve daily; and advising me to keep a watch to see how things went without wearing it constantly. I was going to Asia for a family reunion and with all the humidity there and travel, it was going to be a test. I’m pleased to report that the measurements generally were about the same! The only part that was a little bigger was in my upper arm. I had to admit that I stopped my daily routine of self-massage for my arm, but I was swimming while I was away…….I think that has helped a lot. Lymphedema never goes away. But it can be managed. I just have to be careful. It’s pretty close – and I don’t think anyone has arms that are exactly the same…..like many of our body parts! haha. However, there is a slight possibility that the upper arm part is sagging a little due to older age; I have, after all, started a new decade in my life… :p

Needless to say, I still wear the sleeve quite regularly. I’m afraid sometimes that my arm will balloon up and it has become, (even though it’s uncomfortable) a little bit of a security blanket. I’ve worn it for over 6 months and it is now become a bit of a wardrobe staple. Although I think with time, I’m going to give it up. I’m tired of people asking me what sport injury I sustained…..it wouldn’t be so bad if I actually did a lot of sports!

Now to pick up from my last update earlier this month. Thank you for everyone who has joined and will be joining my Winnie’s Warriors team for the upcoming Run for the Cure, and those who cannot but have sent good wishes. Some of you have asked if you could support by making a donation. I have attached the link below. Thank you. Thank you. My personal message is the hope that someday, that the young generation growing up can live in a world without breast cancer (and others!). Although I am running for Me, I am running for my little niece/godchild, Hana Lindy. She is on my personal and team page. Take a look!

And, yes – – I will be RUNNING. I have received a challenge. One of my warriors, who is always generous with supporting my charitable endeavours for this cause has offered to double his donation if I actually run instead of the power-walking I had initially committed too. The upside, beside raising more for the Breast Cancer Foundation is that I can get a new pair of shoes!! Running shoes that is.

I just bought a new journal with “Love your Life” on the cover. Even with everything that has transpired, I have to say, I love my life. I wouldn’t change it or trade it for any other.

So to close, I share the words of Bob Marley:

“Love the life you live.

Live the life you love.”

A good mantra that I am going to take to heart and follow.

Now, off to start training….I think the last time I ran 5K I was in junior high – The Terry Fox run!! LOL!!

Winnie,

the running Warrior. xoxo

Hello Everyone:

As many of you know, I participated in the Run for the Cure back in 2011 for the first time, right after the end of my treatments. I had found the experience quite overwhelming since I was running for “ME”. The slogan is: “Who are you Running For?”

A couple of Warriors told me that they were planning and training for the 5K event and that they were going to run for me. (how sweet!)

So, I have decided to participate again, and have created & registered the team: Winnie’s Warriors.

If you feel so inclined, please join my team. I’ll be ‘power-walking’, although a few may decide to jog or run. If we have 10 members before September 20^th, we will get team t-shirts with the team name printed on it! J

There is a $40 participant fee that is charged to all participants to cover administrative costs of the event. They have decided to do this so that more of the donation $$ raised will go to the foundation.

The event date is Sunday, October 6^th. Location: Toronto (usually starting at Hart House at U of T).

http://www.runforthecure.com/site/TR?pg=entry&fr_id=1724

Look forward to seeing you there if you can!

Winnie xo

(Team Captain of Winnie’s Warriors).

Hello Everyone:

My Michelin-man bubble hand is back. Basically, I can’t see the knuckles on my right hand. Sometimes no matter how careful and mindful you are, one small slip and bang! A small mishap happens.

I was trying to take advantage of some warmer weather in Toronto and went golfing this past weekend. On Saturday, I was wearing my compression sleeve as usual but it was getting so hot and warm I decided to take the sleeve and glove off – to cool down. Lo and behold, we were in a valley (where there is a lot of still standing water), and there were lots of mosquitos around. More around me because as many of you know I’m everyone else’s bug repellent. For some reason they love me…..my Grandmother used to say it was my sweet foreign blood (but that was when I was visiting in the Philippines – I’m pretty local in these parts…..except I was in King City…..could the bugs know I was yellow and from the City?! LOL). Well, I got bitten. Not just once, but 10 bites in total. The bite on my right hand made my hand swell up. Tried Benadryl, Claritin, Reactine, cortisone cream, ice pack, natural World Salon salve…..nothing worked.

Luckily I saw my surgeon yesterday. She said the bite triggered my lymphedema. Fortunately it is contained in my hand…..but still…..just can’t catch a break.

Lesson learned: keep wearing the sleeve – even if I’m sweating to death…..well that or keep my drives and other golf shots in the middle of the fairway away from the woods!!

Good news: during my check up with my surgeon she said things look fine and no new bumps to be found and my tests in March were clear. Phew. I told her about some pain that I’ve been having at the site of my mastectomy. It’s like a shooting, jolt of pain that comes from inside. She said it’s likely nerve and muscle pain…..well I guess that’s good in a way – that my nerves & muscles are trying to wake up from the coma they’ve been in.  Still painful though. 🙁 (And better than “tax pain” that they talk about in those commercials! LOL)

I also told her that my hot flashes are as bad as ever. Her answer was that it’s a sign that the tamoxifen I’m taking is working. Another good sign I guess, and I’m happy about that. Let’s just hope the weight gain doesn’t follow too quickly!! I mentioned that my oncologist suggested that I might have to take the tamoxifen for more than 5 years. She said that there have been new updates to the program and indicated that for higher risk of reoccurrence cases it is being recommended to continue on the tamoxifen longer. And here I thought only 3 more years to go. We’ll see when I see my oncologist this fall. Stay tuned.

So until my hand swelling subsides, (I’m on some antibiotics too just in case), I’m going to say I’ve taken up boxing!!

Hence, “the Climb”. Always seems that something pops up here and there. So first the hot flashes again that I mentioned in my last update, then the nerve/muscle pain, and now my hand. BOO!!

Why the climb? Well I was in my car on the weekend and “The Climb” came on the radio. I sang along at the top of my lungs as the sun was shining and I had the roof on ‘ol Junior down. I felt overwhelmed as I took note of the lyrics. They made me think about my Climb over the past 3 years. I thought back to my 37th birthday where I had an amazing trip to Prague and London. Felt on top of the world, only to be brought crashing down. And now as I am on the eve of a new decade in my life, I can’t be more excited to start my climb again. And although there have been so many ups and downs, so many highs and lows – I feel good about where things are now. As my mother told me last night, not only is she proud of me, she thinks it’s amazing how I keep going strong. “Winnie Strong”!! LOL!  Even a person who I met on the golf course whose sister in law has gone through breast cancer said, “You look and seem like you’re handling things very well and living life no matter what roadblocks the illness and treatments have thrown your way. Very different from my sister in law who has given up, become reclusive and has gained a lot of weight”. That was a nice thing to say I thought. 

I’ve attached the lyrics at the end of this message and here is a link to YouTube – in case you’ve never heard this song before:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpTYG_Sqqdg

Here’s looking forward to Club 40!

Always, Winnie xo

THE CLIMB:

by Miley Cyrus (how appropriate – as one young boy when I was on my last chemo treatment thought I was Hannah Montana – played by Miley Cyrus).

I can almost see it That dream I am dreaming But there’s a voice inside my head saying “You’ll never reach it”
Every step I’m taking Every move I make feels Lost with no direction My faith is shaking
But I gotta keep trying Gotta keep my head held high
There’s always gonna be another mountain I’m always gonna wanna make it move Always gonna be an uphill battle Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other sideIt’s the climb
The struggles I’m facing The chances I’m taking Sometimes might knock me down But no, I’m not breaking
I may not know it But these are the moments that I’m gonna remember most, yeah Just gotta keep going
And I, I got to be strong Just keep pushing on
‘Cause there’s always gonna be another mountain I’m always gonna wanna make it move Always gonna be a uphill battle Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other sideIt’s the climb, yeah!
There’s always gonna be another mountain I’m always gonna wanna make it move Always gonna be an uphill battle Somebody’s gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other sideIt’s the climb, yeah!
Keep on moving, keep climbing Keep the faith, baby It’s all about, it’s all about the climb

Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

Hello Everyone!

This Friday, April 19^th marks my two-year anniversary of my first surgery. So hard to imagine. Really.

It’s been a very interesting month of April.

First off, the weather has been so strange. Warm-ish and sunny one day and then snowy with freezing rain the next. Good thing I have kept my winter tires on and hadn’t put away my winter boots and coats. I bought an “apres-ski” coat on sale at Sporting Life thinking I would not be able to wear it until next season but lo and behold I sported it just on the weekend! LOL.

A couple of special things happened this month and it’s not even over! The first was a surprise for me. I was having dinner with my BFFs Chris & Jim at their place. It was so delicious. After dinner, Jim gave me a beautiful silk Hermes scarf. The colours were perfect. Red, White and Blue. (Yankee Doodle!) The motif was golf. On one corner was the Nabisco logo. Jim’s Mom passed away recently and at her service her daughter talked about her passion for golf. She was a champion. She had played in the Nabisco tournament with Jack Lemmon. It was a highlight of her many achievements in golf. She shot an 86 last year. She was fiercely private about her age so let’s just say she got close to shooting it that day. I was so touched to receive this gorgeous gift. The sentiment was incredibly lovely. Merci beaucoup mes amis!

The second happened the very next morning. I wore the scarf with my spring trench coat. It was a sunny day. Crisp air. I got lots of compliments on the scarf, although with my coat made me look like a flight attendant! (LOL!). My Warrior who I had gone to a chemo treatment with last month was scheduled to have her last one that morning. I knew that this hospital did not have the ritual of “ringing the bell” to mark the occasion (like I had at Princess Margaret PMH). So I went to surprise her. And surprised she was when I texted her to say I was there. She responded “OMG! Coming to get you!” She came out to meet me and had tears on her face. I think she was so amazed that I was there to support her. The emotion. I hadn’t expected that. I hadn’t expected how it made me feel to see her react that way. It was truly awesome. I felt great to know that my little gesture could make such a difference to another human being. WOW!!

I remember the feeling when someone rang the fire bell at PMH as they walked out after their last chemo treatment. I remember how everyone clapped and smiled for that moment. Knowing that you too would have a turn to do that. I remember how I felt that day I rang the bell. All that hope. Amazing. I wanted her to have that feeling too. So I brought and gave her a small bell that was given to me many years ago by a special boy named Davis. She was very touched. I couldn’t stay for her treatment but she sent me a message when it was done and told me the nurse and pharmacist rang the little bell for her. I had to fight back a tear when I read that.

I walked in the sunshine down to a conference I was attending with my head held high and with a big smile on my face knowing that I had done the right thing and it felt so good. Nothing was more important than being there. I was late for the start of the conference but it was worth it!!

The best part of it all is that it made me feel really really good. I have to admit that the dull weather, the lymphedema, the return of the hot flashes and lack of good sleep, have gotten me a little down and worn out. I needed this.

Little gestures that help bring about small miracles are everywhere and all around us.

They bring us hope. They bring us wonder. They let us believe.

We get through adversity with the support and care of those around us. How? Why? It’s simple: Because We Love and Are Loved.

Take care my Warriors. 

Winnie xo