Hello everyone:
Happy May Day! Which recognizes the Labour force (I think) but for me when I hear “may-day” it’s more for a call of help. What can I say, I’m Yellow. LOL.
It’s been an interesting couple of months for me. I am not hugely superstitious but I do heed caution to some signs and the odd “feng shui” things. I mentioned in my last update that this year, the Year of the Goat was going to be a challenging one.
And, it has been.
Typically in the early spring months I go through the ever so pleasant (*not really) routine follow up and check-ups. This March I went for my regular mammogram. It was a Monday. On the Friday (the 13th actually) at 5:40 pm I received a message from the Imaging department that they had booked me in for a “call back” – another mammogram and now an ultrasound too. Not going to lie: it put me into a bad mood. L Luckily, I was having dinner with a couple of Warriors and it was a great help and comfort not to have been completely alone at that time. No explanation. Just a message. (A little cruel in my opinion for a Friday evening).
I put in a call to my surgeon’s office first thing on Monday morning. My nurse confirmed that the radiologist saw something. My mammogram showed signs of micro calcification. I guess after reading the info in this link that mine were ‘micro’ – because if it was ‘macro’ nothing further would have to be done. They are generally hard to detect so as there were some prominent shapes showing up that there were micro calcifications that were now showing up and they wanted to make sure the clusters were not “bad”. My nurse looked at my past mammograms and they did not indicate any calcification before – or that were detectable.
http://www.webmd.com/women/guide/breast-calcification-symptoms-causes-treatments
I have now done the second mammogram and ultrasound.
My new favourite word: “Benign”.
Thank goodness. Because while I was waiting for my appointment last week, I called my mother to greet her for her birthday. I hadn’t told her I had been called back. But while I was on the phone with her a big wave of fear washed over me. AND IT WAS REAL.
All of a sudden after being fairly calm and having compartmentalized things for the past couple of weeks, I was afraid. Really afraid. I nearly lost it. I figured before when I found the lump and had cancer that I would get sick but I would definitely survive. This time I was unsure and doubted my strength to do it all over again. I have to say, I don’t even think I felt that afraid before my mastectomy or any of the treatments or surgeries. Weird no?! The fear of recurrence to me is worse. And although I know of others who have worked through a recurrence, the thought is always daunting to me.
My mother and Robert immediately went to pray for me. And just finished when I called them full of relief and with the good news. (I made sure that the radiologist looked at both the mammogram and the ultrasound images before I left. I couldn’t wait any longer……)
PHEW & BIG SIGH OF RELIEF!!!
Needless to say my blood pressure has been crazy high again but today just got it checked. Back to 132/84 (much better than 160/100). So being monitored again. I really don’t want to go back on blood pressure medication again.
Other good news: all my recent blood work came back fantastic and great. Cholesterol, liver & kidney functions, B12, iron levels and thyroids. All functioning well and good figures. Just gained 2 kgs year over year. But, I can live with that. J
So, a good start to the weekend. And it’s finally warm enough to golf here in Toronto.
Things are looking better already. J
I saw a sign on the subway – I think it works: “Beauty Fades, Strength You Keep Forever”.
Love and hugs,
Winnie xo